Hard Things and Broken Hearts

Help Is Sometimes Given When Needed Most

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” – Psalm 68:5

I could hear him laughing and playing in the living room as the caller from the medical examiner was saying over the phone, “I’m sorry. Mary died this morning.”

Two hundred miles away my daughter had died, alone, in a hotel room while her 4-year-old was happily romping around my house.

Life is hard, and I have had to do more than one hard thing in my life, but telling a small child he will never again see his mother was probably one of the hardest.

Where does one even start? How can you say such words to a child?

First, I had to inform my wife. That was hard enough. Devastating and physically wrenching. But to bring such news to a little child?

All these memories came flooding back to me when I heard that Charlie Kirk was dead. I immediately realized that his wife must now navigate her own grief while trying to think clearly about how to help her children. Somehow, she will have had to find the words, even as her world was falling apart, to tell her children that their daddy is dead.

I was not the first person to have had this task, and Erika Kirk, Charlie’s wife, will not be the last. But there is no consolation to be found in the knowledge that you are not alone in your devastation.

On the day my own daughter died, I found that the words that needed to be said to a precious little boy were given to me by someone. The words that combined hard truth with love and hope just mysteriously appeared in my mind as a result of no plan or calculating thought. They simply and suddenly arrived from outside of myself as I was gathering him into my arms.

I have prayed this week for Erika Kirk. That somehow she has found strength for the sake of her children. That maybe she too has been given the words she needs, but which seem so impossible ever to utter. Because I know from hard personal experience that “God is close to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Ps. 34:18)”